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Elizabeth's avatar

“I need to speak to those with whom I disagree as those whose love matters to me.

To be free means that I not only give myself over to others in love but that I want to be loved by them. In this context, asceticism is nothing more or less than purifying both my love for you and removing from my heart anything that makes me shy away from your love.”

Those last two points went straight to my heart and I think it is something Christians don’t hear enough. Sure we hear the culture wars stuff ad nauseum but we NEVER hear about what it actually takes to love the “enemy” (because that’s what this whole politicized Christianity creates—enemies to fight not people to love). Oh sure we hear that we have to be “nice“ to people or polite or not be physically violent, but the disgust, hate, and dehumanizing remains untouched. The proverbial “enemies” see right through that and they don’t feel loved. It doesn’t matter how surface level civil you are— you can never deeply love or care about someone that you find disgusting or “evil” much less have a fighting chance to win them to your side.

I think this is often particularly true in the issues of sexual identity politics where Christians are so disgusted by a person’s actions that they are repulsed by and avoidant of other human beings and refuse to see any common ground they may have with them as a person. It’s like Christians shouldn’t even be around them lest they be tainted. I’ve been around Christians long enough to know that there’s an instant dehumanization that occurs in the way that we speak about or interact with LGBT people. No one around us will ever start down the path of repentance if we perpetually stand twenty feet away in disgust and treat them as almost inhuman blobs of “evil.” Would we have chosen to follow Christ if people treated us that way? There’s just no way.

And yet in recent days I’ve seen very, very heavy handed articles and statements made by public Orthodox figures and social media clergy on these very issues, including one American bishop I witnessed sharing an article written by a Russian counterpart that essentially claimed Orthodox Christian’s can’t and shouldn’t experience same sex attraction. How demoralizing and dehumanizing for parishioners experiencing such things! Earth to this guy: there are many celibate gay (Side B) Christians out there and you basically told them they shouldn’t even exist. You can totally identify as a gay person and still be a faithful Christian who follows Church teachings.

I guess my question is how do we love people enough to win their love, but not compromise who we are? Because that seems to be something Christians are very fearful of and we need more teaching on that. There seems to be a fear of accepting people as they are in love because it might look like approving of everything they do.

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